| What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the part-time [[job]], and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the [[flower]] patch, and I have over 15 confirmed [[coelacanth]] catches, [[User:Static the Squirrel|in one day]]! I am trained in gorilla [[fishing]] and I’m the top [[bug]] catcher in the entire [[village]] gardening team. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in this [[town]], mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me through the [[letter|mail]]? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the [[beach]] and your address is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot.
The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be in any tree, in any town, and I can catch your [[bug]]s in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in [[net]] combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of [[Tom Nook's Store]] and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the village, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” letter was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the [[Bells|price]], you goddamn idiot. I will shit [[bee|bees]] all over you and you will drown in them. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.